oh, deer!

Woah Wow! I'm on my blog! posting something! weird! well, not too weird because ive been incredibly bored since this little move of mine. Well, actually not so little, I'm in Utah! I've been here now for two weeks and I've actually had a lot of fun and done cool stuff BUT mondays are just quite boring especially when you A) dont go to school B) dont have a job and 3) everyone is at school OR work and youre just left alone in your big apartment with nothing left to do EXCEPT start up your blog again and try to revamp it ( dont try it if you dont know how...i tried... its messed up right now.,. bare with me).  

SO my new apartment is coming along quiet deerly ( no, not dearly.. just hold on.. you'll get it)

I still have a lot more decorating to get done but so far I'm liking how its going

Look at it! look at my cute little wall! i'm quiet fawned of it

okay okay I'm done with the puns!

but anyways

i was just excited about how my new little home is coming together

and i was bored so thought i'd share with my never viewed messy blog!

be expecting more of these little posts because

it'll be my new little hobby

xx,

Ataya

It's Raining Its Pouring

Its raining! Its pouring! but no, oh goodness no, there is no snoring!

Not for this girl that is!

How could I sleep when the sweet sound of rain, warm hot chocolate, 

and my book(s) are calling my name!? Not to mention Jaymay on repeat!

the answer is i cant, i simply cant! California gets like 2 days out of

the year where is actually rains for more than five minutes and

I'm not going to waste on second of it!

not only am i kept wide awake

by the rain festivities but I've just been busy.

busy busy busy.

and not busy as in must get things done busy but

fun busy.  books, shopping, DISNEYLAND, who knew 

i could have so much fun? Not me that's for sure

So why haven't i been posting about it?

because i forget to take pictures or feel lame

asking for someone to take selfies of me.. haha

what can i say?

I'm a material girl living a material world(;

 you guys, i dont think you understand... i just LOVE rain!

everything about it! not having to do my hair, the sound, cuddles, warmness!

awhhh if only it was like this all winter

okay i was so excited for this massive cup of hot chocolate and what could or could not be piles of whip cream.... and it was a total dunce! it was not yummy at all ): but by adding the mountain of whip cream  it made it delicious!

 ignore my chubby fingers... i dont know whats going on there...i promise

my fingers are normal size... haha!

 I'm making a new goal for myself!
to post more! i used to post
quiet a bit but then i kind of lost touch
and thought my life was boring with nothing to share
but with holiday coming up im more excited than ever!

XX,
Ataya

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS. CARLY RAE JEPSON! CALL ME MAYBE?(;

P.S.S oh boy! literally... oh boy! but thats for a later time

Happy Sunday

I'm kind of bad at this whole blogging thing
but these past couple weeks have been really hard
and this Sunday just seemed to make these weeks
just a little bit easier and understandable.

I wont go into the pity details so I'll

just say I wasn't finding answers but also

wasn't really looking for them either. But 

the best answer comes from those questions that

you don't ask about at all.

So, what is it about Sundays that can just make two weeks of crying and hardships understandable and bearable? Church, Sacrament, Scriptures, My Fabulous New Young Women Leader, And some home made chocolate cake from the worlds best step mom.

My lesson today that seemed to make everything clique all at once for me was

Self-Reliance:

As much as i can lean on someone else for help or even blame them for how I'm doing or feeling, it all comes back to me. How i am treating myself/others. How I am seeking out my days a latter day saint. How I keep a good mood. And how and if i choose happiness.

I didn't think you could "choose happiness". I mean if you're sad then you're sad. Its a natural emotion how are you supposed to just brush that off? I guess you don't necessarily brush it off but just don't stay sad, don't just give up, find the way out.

Whats the way out?

My typical way out is Kardashian Re-Runs and some major naps but that isn't a way out just a distraction.

So then all too quickly i go back to feeling weak...

So the real way out...put yourself into the lords hands.

Ether 12:  27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them.

So, what did i take out of this Sunday is a big question..

I understand now that my Heavenly Father never has his back turned to me when I'm not doing whats right or not searching for his guidance. And I understand that in those moments where I'm on my knees praying for his help and his comfort and i don't receive answers right away its not because i don't deserve his love, because I'm always a priority to him, but its just My Father in Heaven reminding me to be patient to be steady in my works and don't give up. Sometimes those moments of being alone and scared are those memories we wont forget because when we receive the comfort we've been asking for it will be a feeling that makes it worth waiting for. I know that Jesus Christ will never give up on me and I know that when I'm feeling as if nobody understands because sometimes earthly companions dont that Jesus Christ does. He went through exactly what i am going through just so i wont have to face it alone. Lastly, I made a promise to myself that I will forgive others as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ so easily and quickly forgive me.

This Sunday was an answer to everything. 

Happy Sunday XX

Ataya

Autumns Fallin'

OH, October! how i lalalalove you!

Where do i even start??

I just love autumn (partly because its my middle name) but for everything fun it has to offer!

Its the few weeks out of the year in California where i can put on my cozy sweaters and boots, drink pumpkin hot chocolate and snuggle up in the biggest possible blanket i have!

Not to mention the pumpkin patch! awhh i just love pumpkin everything!

seeds, bread, drinks, what else??

  Fun fact : My junior year i was in FFA and got to take care of farm animals! 

ever since i just simply love piggys! 

What better way to fall even more in love with fall then go to the pumpkin patch with your best girls and run around taking fun pictures! ( even if the (cute) workers watch you make a fool of yourselves)

 OW OW check out those hotties!

Picture overload i know! but i havent been out of the house in a week and just had too much fun!

This is my last Halloween at home and i plan on making every last second count!

just wait until you see my costume! 

and in case you where wondering: of course I'm dressing up! 

But its a surprise so stay tuned!(;

Hmmm well on a more serious note,

Here is my fall goal(s): 

1. Get in kick butt shape so i dont feel like a LOSER

when i watch the VS fashion show in December

2. be nicer. okay I'm a really nice person and

have a positive attitude but

its been too easy lately to get annoyed with people

and just want give them some sass and go on with my day

so Ive been making sure i catch myself when i think something even remotely rude

and try to keep a smile on my face

and let me tell you! I'm just simply happier 

because I'm not letting other rude/annoying people influence my day!

after all we are all children of god...and i should

 treat them way. Even if they insist on annoying

me until i feels like i will explode...

XX

The girl who cant get enough fall!

P.S. I need like an intervention... I cant stop watching Nashville! ahhh darn netflix

  

thank heaven

thank heaven is exactly it!

I haven't blogged in like a week! which isnt that long but to me it felt like a life time!

Maybe thats because i was laying in my death bed... again thats what it felt like to me! What started as a cold turned into a flu then turned into strep. but with some antibiotics I am back on my feet (almost) and getting back to regular life! 

except school... school is just... 

Dont get me wrong staying home for 

a week is amazing! but i'm really tired of toast and

Serbort ice cream and red gatorade. I just

want to go on a run! or go to a dance! or go to a 

pumpkin patch! just a couple more days and 

I'll be back to all that fun stuff! and guess what I'm

going to do first! A cycling class! I'm 

nervous/excited/horrified all at the same time! 

I'll keep you updated on how this class works out!

XX Ataya

Fresh Faced and Happy

Hello!

well guys I've had yet another epiphany... Senior year is just full of new realizations.

Well it all started yesterday during homeroom when i caught myself complaining to a friend about how girls just need make up and how barely any girl can pull off not wearing makeup and not look tired. How rude and materialistic of me!! right??? Not until later that night though did i really notice what i said and how completely worldly of me. 

Girls dont need makeup to look pretty and definietly shouldnt need it to feel pretty either. I've worn makeup religiously since 7th grade and have not gone to school one day with out wearing it. I would always have my face evenly toned and eyes perfectly shaded to look big and round and my eyelashes always were brushed and darkened. That is until today!

  

After waking up this morning I looked in the mirror and kinda just stood there looking. I didn't start pulling at my untamed hair or fixing my big pajama shirt but just looked at my bare face, who i really am. And you know what! With out a second opinion i said I look perfectly fine with out make up and my natural hair actually looks somewhat good.

i know you're digging my goodwill bag in the back(;

I went to school with natural hair and left my makeup bag at home. As i walked onto campus all i was thinking is that all day people are gonna say i look SO tired or my hair was crazy or something that would bring my confidence down.

WRONG!

I actually got compliments on how pretty my natural hair was and not once did i get a "You look tired" once

and by tutorial i loved not having makeup on.

Girls, we dont need make up and straight hair to be or feel pretty. We just need to be comfortable with who we are and accept ourselves as we come, which is beautiful. I'm not saying make up is bad I'm not saying that at ALL because i adore make up but it shouldn't become something we need to have.

Just keep reminding yourself that its okay not to be perfect.

Happy tropical Tuesday

XX

P.S. want to hear a little tip to smooth skin and soft hair?? try coconut oil! it works magic! i put it on my face before i go to bed a couple times a week and it makes my skin feel so soft and makes all those pesky spots go flat! Its my new favorite beauty side kick

C14ssy Seniors

Aren't I just so whitty with my post title??(; get it? c14ssy seniors??  Because I graduate in 2014!

okay well i didnt exactly come up with it myself...

OH being a Senior! i thought this year would never come & i though i'd hate it because i (already) have been hit with a crippling dose of senioritis BUT its hard to hate my very last homecoming football game/halftime performance/homecoming dance. Its bitter sweet already.

Tesoro high schools homecoming theme was Zomebies: World War T dun dun duuuunnnn

*brace yourself for an overload of pictures. I couldn't just pick two!*

Our homecoming halftime show was amazing! we spent WEEKS preparing for this. We had a whole choreographed dance and a laser light show.

Being the big bad seniors we are we were all zombies and ran out on the fields and did our performance it was too fun!

The next day was homecoming and of course i went stag! dates are for the weak.

Me and these lovely ladies got all dolled up and went the the Oakley factory for some pre-homecoming fun

"Make the Miley Cyrus face!"

 Me and emily have a thing for manicans(; 

Pointing to where we want to go on our missions! 

I am pointing to Africa right??

I would post some post homecoming pictures but lets face it... no one wants to see those haha!

This week has been so busy and consisting of very very late nights and I for one do not do good with out sleep. I will pretty much cry about anything and get a case of the grumps. So image me from after this crazy week plus work plus waking up for 9 am church (which I'm so glad i did we had the best lessons today). 

I'm going to turn on Once Upon A Time and take a very long long long much needed nap.

Happy Sunday!

XX

P.S. shout out to my role model since like 5th grade, Lauren Conrad, for her engagement!

Until next time..

This weekend went WAY to fast! I'm already on my way back home to california. Most people would be stoked to get back to sunny and 75 but i just want to stay here in Utah bundled up in sweaters and blankets, playing with my sisters, shopping until i feel bad about how much I've spent, and listening to amazing conference talks. 

I'm already counting down the days until i move down here for school next fall and get to live this weekend over and over again!

Anyone up for breakfast at tiffanys?(;

 Another thing i'll miss about utah is HANNAH! (and tiffanys) This year i got another sister and boy am I glad i did! its impossible to be around her and not have a good time! how would i describe hannah??

She has the whit of a mean girls movie, the sass of a kardashian, and the style of an anthropology queen!

you cant go to utah with out going to city creek and then skip over to the B E A utiful Salt Lake temple! Its really my favorite of all the temples! anyone else notice how much i love taking pictures with the temple in the background??? like i always say "every prince needs her castle" a prince would be nice to add to that little quote but hey, someday(;

Everyone meet my gorgeous sister, Kashia! *ignore my dress it has a mind of its own*

I got to stay with my bestfriend this weekend and it was purely wonderful! we are literally the same person! except she's living the life here in utah with her hubby and i'm slowly inching my way through senior year with myself ( just kidding guys i actually have friends haha). Any who! we both agreed that these three days just flew bye and i need to visit more often. 

 I NEED THIS HAT! 

its Kashias! she did a fun photoshoot with me for her adorable new blog, letyourhairdown2.blogspot.com, and some cute hair tutorials! I'm loving the plum lipstick this fall (Kashias also)! 

So now I'm in the car for the next 12 hours planning out my next trip to this wonderful state called Utah. Fingers crossed it'll be in a couple weeks for my friends missionary farewell! I have to go to it! but thats a whole other post, which believe me will be making its appearance soon! At least i have the baker family keeping me entertained for the rest of the car ride!

Stay positive

XX

"Doubt your doubts before your doubt your faith" President Diter F Uchtdorf

A Glitter Affair

Fun fact: Glitter makes everything better! (and pink)

Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins

I just happen to be one of those lucky girls(:

I leave Utah tomorrow... it's truly heartbreaking. BUT I'll be back quicker than you go catch an amazing picture of yourself blowing glitter into the air (its harder than it looks). 

Denim and Distractions

Awwwh to pick a guitar again! Its been almost a year since I've played (and by played i mean senselessly pluck simple G ,C ,E, and A cords) But i picked up just where i left off... playing Taylor Swifts White Christmas. 

I have to admit something... I haven't gone one day the past week and a half with out listening to Christmas music.. I'm just so stinkin excited!

I've thrown in a couple Weezer and Ed Sheeran songs but my poor little hamy down guitar is horribly out of tune and is quiet ready to retire. Sad day. BUT it gives me a reason to invest in a... wait for it!.... ukulele!

 So you've seen my denim and obviously my guitar is my distraction but i know you're dying to know ( if you're not that interested just pretend to be(; ) what EXACTLY I'm being distracted from. Nope its not homework, i don't have any!( that i know of.. LOL), its not cleaning my room, or some other boring task, well it kinda is boring, but! its from that boy (and i use "boy" descriptively, immature just sounds rude doesn't it??) i briefly mentioned a couple post back. I said i'd been upset about him for the past couple months 

( terribly long, i know) 

but I've come to an epiphany! why let one boy make me feel so sad and down?? I have no clue! So i decided abruptly that I'm going to change my perspective! I concluded that I am not going to think about him because in reality i wasn't thinking about HIM but the attention i got from him, if i think of him i quickly change my train of thought i.e. "wow that tree is really pretty" lame i know but then i realize that the leaves on that oh so pretty tree are changing colors and i get super excited , even though its 85 degrees, that its fall! If i cant get my mind off him (I'm only human it happens) and start feeling sad i think "hey! that's only one disappointing thing in your life think of the good things!" then i think of how awesome i am for getting a new job!( high five ataya(; ), how lucky i am to have my amazing friends, and then i usually think about kittens or Zac Efron yummmm haha. Lastly, the distraction dun-dun-duuuuuuun! I'm distracting myself with this pretty guitar, simple acts of service, and smiling A LOT. 

And guess what fellow bloggers?? my week has been fabulous! This once crush worthy boy is now some guy who i once knew. And i can go through out my day with out thinking about the past because that's exactly what it is, the past. I understand that writing about him isn't helping distract myself from it but who knows maybe someone needed a break-up 101 and I'm helping them out. Also i'm just proud of myself for making this step in my life.

Stay positive!

XX

P.S. i avoid sad music too! no taylor swift or helpless love songs. Happy music makes a happy person(:

P.S.S I have a secret destination Ill be posting about in the next couple days! 

P.S.S.S I cant keep it a secret anymore! ill be In Utah with my lovely sisters! I'm head over heels excited! you know what they say "what happens in Utah stays in Utah" (;

Sundays Best

Oh Sunday how i la la la love you!

Not only is sunday the perfect day to catch up on sleep from the week and those horrible Saturday nights you may or may not of had... but how fun is it to get up in the morning and get all dolled up in your Sundays best?? I for one adore putting together a fun classy new outfit, putting on a pair of my highest heels, and make my way to church with Hilary Weeks playing in the background.

| polka-dot crop top:Forever 21 | Tulle Skirt: DIY | Shoes: Love D

Well as i was getting ready i thought to myself "hey! i pulled together a pretty cute outfit and have pretty much got this whole messy bun thing down. but something seems off." i looked at myself in the mirror trying to figure out was wrong. Staring at yourself in the mirror for a long time is NOT a good idea. I began to knit pick every little thing about me.

Realizing my eye liner was uneven, i had an annoying blemish, my cheeks are just too chubby, and of course i thought this skirt made me look fat!( how dare i think these things right??) i started to rethink my whole outfit because i just felt simply hideous. My mood went from perky and positive to "why cant i just be a victoria secret model"

Before i could start ripping of another never worn outfit i looked down to my jewlery and saw what was missing, my young women medallion.

A symbol of my worth and of my beauty as a daughter of god. i put on my necklace and it seemed to lay so gracefully on my neck and complimented me.

I'm definitely one of those girls who come down way to hard on myself for not being society's idea of "pretty". Its so easy to tell yourself you're not good enough or thin enough and to try to fix yourself to become the worlds definition of beauty. But guess what!! That's exactly what the world is wanting to make you do.

It wants you to change and blend in with everyone else. It wants you to forget your self worth and your individual beauty and not appreciate who you are.

and i am done feeling this way. I'm accepting myself the way i come and i will never doubt my beauty again because i am so much more than society. I am a daughter of god.

Me and my friend, Emily Baker, always half joke that we are princess but we really are princess and every time I'm feeling down about myself this is what i remember.

I'm a princess so I'm going to treat myself exactly like that. I know for a fact that my heavenly father wouldn't want me to think of myself as anything less than that.

Happy Sunday

XX

Dear Husband

i know, i know. I'm not married and its a couple years off but its definitely one of those things i am thinking about when my mind drifts off during 4th period English. 

All these questions come to my mind: What will he looks like? Wait, do i already know him? i mean 80% of people marry someone they knew in high school.. Is he one his mission right now? Is he going to be tall (tall boys are my weakness)? does he think about me or how he needs to prepare himself to be married?

Then i start picturing our life. Us in a cute two story home with a white picket fence, he comes home from work and i have dinner all made and ready (i need to start learning how to cook. thank the heavens for pinterest!) and then i begin thinking of our names for a children. If you're a girl and say you've never done that than you're lying(;

well as it's easy to tell i have spent a lot of time thinking about these things and a little over a year ago i decided "hey, why not tell him about these things"

again, i know i'm not married but its never too early to start preparing!

I started writing letters to him when i was about 15 and haven't stopped since and i plan on giving them to him the night before our wedding

Here are my most recent three.

I write a lot about the struggles i am going through and how I'll always remember to think of him and how he is the bigger picture.

I've wrote to him about the things i have given up because i know they wont lead me to him and I've even said a couple things to him about my first "break up"

" You're my goal and my motivator. With out knowing that i have someone I'm going to spend eternity with, this struggle I'm going through would be way harder. I'm making decisions in my life now to guide me toward you. I'm understanding that i need to go through heartbreak now so when I am with you i will understand the pureness of our love. I know this pain I'm going through is a blessing in disguise because soon I'll never have to feel it again because I'll find you, my eternal companion."

That was a little chunk from my most recent letter to him.

Not all my letters are so serious though. I have a couple that are me just joking around being a typical teenage girl and telling him I'm so excited to meet him and what not.

These letters aren't just for him but me too. They remind me to stay positive and to work for that happiness i want us to have. I've been upset over a boy for the past couple months (MONTHS, i know! like come one that's way too long!) but whenever a memory about us or eagerness to just text him and remind him of everything that used to be i think of my husband. The One that will love me forever, not just like me for a couple weeks, The One that will treat me like a princess, The One that will comfort me in my darkest of times, and The One who will go to any lengths to protect my virtue and is eager to find eternal life with me.

\

I always end my letters in a silly way and remind him how much i love him and how i cant wait for out wedding day. I also remind him that he is in my prayers every night. Praying that he is doing what is right and preparing himself for me as i am for him, i pray that he is doing what our heavenly father is asking him and is preparing for or is on his mission bringing the knowledge of truth to everyone he meets.

My future husband is my ultimate goal and motivator and i cant wait to begin falling in love with him.

Stay positive

XX

PS want to hear something funny about these letters?? Well on one of my first ones i wrote when i was younger i drew a funny little doodle of how our life will go and what not and for our first date i drew us on a farris wheel and wrote "step one: cheesy first date" Well! my very first date EVER the guy took me on a ferris wheel! haha could you imagine me dying on the inside??